A couple of beauty pageants gurus asked me to write this, so I am. This recent problem has to do with glitz pageants in the South. Apparently, some newbies are creating a bad reputation for themselves in the pageant world by copying the outfits and routines of other contestants in the outfit of choice category. As you can probably imagine, this is a big no-no.
I won’t give you the specific details, but I’ll paint a similar scenario to give you a clear picture of what’s happening:
Mary is a young contestant who’s been extremely successful with glitz pageants. She’s won scores of grand supreme titles. For her Outfit of Choice, she dresses as a fifties-style car hop, complete with roller skates, car hop hat, and pink uniform. He dad wheels her onstage in a pink 1955 Thunderbird convertible – a kid-size version, of course. Mary jumps out of the car holding a tray and does sort of a dance routine on skates. It’s super cute. Lo and behold, up pops a newbie doing the exact same routine: same outfit, same hair style, same car, same stage moves. Coincidence?? I don’t think so. There are simply too many details that are exactly the same in both routines. Even worse, both the girls were competing in the same pageant, in the same age division!
PLEASE don’t do this! It’s fine to get ideas from other pageant girls. Everyone does that. But let it stop there. Being inspired by another contestant is far different from stealing their whole routine. Let’s say, for example, you saw a contestant dressed as a cowgirl, and you liked the idea, so you decide to get a cowgirl outfit made for your daughter. Your outfit is similar to the one you saw, but it’s different in some ways. You also use different props, and your daughter does different moves. That’s okay. You haven’t stolen someone else’s idea in your case.
There’s no quicker way to alienate people and create enemies than to completely steal their ideas that they’ve worked so hard creating. You wouldn’t want someone to do it to you, so don’t do it to others. Maybe you don’t care if the other contestants and moms at pageants like you or not, but it doesn’t stop there. You’ll also gain a bad reputation with others involved in pageantry: directors, hair and makeup people, dress designers, and judges. Yes, judges. Oftentimes, the judges are a lot more aware of what’s going on than you might think.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Pageant Etiquette
One reason beauty pageants – especially glitz pageants – get a bad reputation is because some people don’t use common sense or follow simple rules of courtesy. This is true of contestants, pageant moms, and audience members. Below are a few tips for proper pageant etiquette:
1. When you’re in the audience watching a pageant, do not talk bad about contestants. You never know if the girl’s grandma is sitting right behind you. Don’t talk bad about the pageant, the pageant director, the judges, etc., for the same reason – you never know who might be within earshot.
2. Arrive on time to the pageant, whether you’re a contestant or a spectator.
3. Show respect to each contestant by being quiet during her onstage walk. This is especially important during the beauty portion of the pageant.
4. Clap for EVERY contestant!
5. If you’re in the audience and need to get up from your seat, don’t do it during a child’s walk onstage. Wait until the contestant is leaving the stage.
6. If you’re going to be onstage with your baby or small child, dress appropriately! Don’t try to “outdo” the child, but do try to look presentable.
7. Even if you’re backstage or somewhere else in private, don’t talk bad about other contestants in front of your child. This sends a bad message to impressionable children.
8. If you want to give cues or stand up to get a child’s attention when she’s onstage to help her, try not to stand up in front of other audience members. Move to the aisle to do this, if possible.
9. Congratulate the winners. This is a good way to teach sportsmanship to your child.
10. If your child is one of the pageant winners, don’t allow her to gloat or flaunt her crown and other prizes in front of the other contestants.
1. When you’re in the audience watching a pageant, do not talk bad about contestants. You never know if the girl’s grandma is sitting right behind you. Don’t talk bad about the pageant, the pageant director, the judges, etc., for the same reason – you never know who might be within earshot.
2. Arrive on time to the pageant, whether you’re a contestant or a spectator.
3. Show respect to each contestant by being quiet during her onstage walk. This is especially important during the beauty portion of the pageant.
4. Clap for EVERY contestant!
5. If you’re in the audience and need to get up from your seat, don’t do it during a child’s walk onstage. Wait until the contestant is leaving the stage.
6. If you’re going to be onstage with your baby or small child, dress appropriately! Don’t try to “outdo” the child, but do try to look presentable.
7. Even if you’re backstage or somewhere else in private, don’t talk bad about other contestants in front of your child. This sends a bad message to impressionable children.
8. If you want to give cues or stand up to get a child’s attention when she’s onstage to help her, try not to stand up in front of other audience members. Move to the aisle to do this, if possible.
9. Congratulate the winners. This is a good way to teach sportsmanship to your child.
10. If your child is one of the pageant winners, don’t allow her to gloat or flaunt her crown and other prizes in front of the other contestants.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Are Beauty Pageants Bad for Kids?
In the United States, beauty pageants often get a bad rap – especially glitz pageants. If you’re entering your daughter in beauty pageants, you’ve probably been criticized for doing so by friends, family members, co-workers, and maybe even total strangers. How did this make you feel? Did it put you on the defensive, or cause you to re-think pageantry?
First of all, it’s really nobody else’s business how you spend your money or what you do with your kids, as long as abuse isn’t involved. Still, negative comments can be hurtful, even when you’re convinced that you’re not doing anything wrong. Only you know if doing pageants is good or harmful to your child. Children will usually let you know up front whether they’re happy or unhappy, oftentimes even before they can talk. You know what I mean!
I’ll be the first to say that pageants are not for everyone. The child has to enjoy being fussed over and being on stage in front of strangers. The mom has to have the right attitude about competing, about winning, and most importantly, about losing. Children should not be forced to compete in pageants. They should want to compete, and they should enjoy the experience. I can understand some “strong coaxing” for a first pageant because sometimes kids are afraid to try something new. After that first pageant, however, if the child didn’t enjoy the experience, you need to find another hobby or activity for them.
My granddaughters and niece have all been involved in glitz pageants, along with a few natural pageants. And I’ve received some negative comments about putting them in pageants. Following are some typical anti-pageants comments, along with my thoughts and responses:
• Your child doesn’t get to enjoy being a normal kid. She’s not well rounded.
Our pageant girls are normal, well rounded kids. When they’re not doing a pageant, they’re riding four-wheelers, swimming, fishing, riding horses, playing with their friends, digging in the dirt, etc.
• Why the fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan, and makeup?
I see pageants as sort of a sport, so the participants need to be prepared with the proper items. You wouldn’t let your son play football without a helmet, protective pads, and the right shoes, would you?
• You shouldn’t force your child to be in pageants!
I agree. We don’t force them. They beg us to put them in pageants!
• Putting girls in pageants sends them the wrong message. It teaches them that superficial looks are more important than anything else.
Not true. We stress personality and poise with our girls. As you know, the most beautiful girl doesn’t always win. Not once have our girls said, “I should have won because I’m prettier than the winner.” My grandkids see pageants as a game and understand that their time on stage is just a “snapshot,” so to speak. They’re judged on how they do in that short period in front of the judges.
• Girls don’t learn anything beneficial from pageants.
Again, not true. Our girls have learned a lot about friendship, confidence, and facing new situations. They’ve also learned good sportsmanship. They’ve learned to be good losers and gracious winners.
If you do charity pageants, that’s a great way to teach kids about the importance of helping others.
• You shouldn’t try to make girls look older by applying makeup.
Why not? That’s like saying you shouldn’t try to make your child look like a witch or Harry Potter at Halloween. Our younger girls think of doing a pageant as playing dress-up. And what little girls don’t play dress-up?
• Pageants make girls feel bad about themselves.
This depends largely on the attitude of the parents. If the pageant mom stresses that pageants are only about winning, then yes, the child will feel bad when she loses. Parents should have kids thinking that pageants are a fun way to spend time with Mom and to work together as a team.
Actually, pageants make my granddaughters feel good. They think they’re princesses when they’re all dressed up!
First of all, it’s really nobody else’s business how you spend your money or what you do with your kids, as long as abuse isn’t involved. Still, negative comments can be hurtful, even when you’re convinced that you’re not doing anything wrong. Only you know if doing pageants is good or harmful to your child. Children will usually let you know up front whether they’re happy or unhappy, oftentimes even before they can talk. You know what I mean!
I’ll be the first to say that pageants are not for everyone. The child has to enjoy being fussed over and being on stage in front of strangers. The mom has to have the right attitude about competing, about winning, and most importantly, about losing. Children should not be forced to compete in pageants. They should want to compete, and they should enjoy the experience. I can understand some “strong coaxing” for a first pageant because sometimes kids are afraid to try something new. After that first pageant, however, if the child didn’t enjoy the experience, you need to find another hobby or activity for them.
My granddaughters and niece have all been involved in glitz pageants, along with a few natural pageants. And I’ve received some negative comments about putting them in pageants. Following are some typical anti-pageants comments, along with my thoughts and responses:
• Your child doesn’t get to enjoy being a normal kid. She’s not well rounded.
Our pageant girls are normal, well rounded kids. When they’re not doing a pageant, they’re riding four-wheelers, swimming, fishing, riding horses, playing with their friends, digging in the dirt, etc.
• Why the fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan, and makeup?
I see pageants as sort of a sport, so the participants need to be prepared with the proper items. You wouldn’t let your son play football without a helmet, protective pads, and the right shoes, would you?
• You shouldn’t force your child to be in pageants!
I agree. We don’t force them. They beg us to put them in pageants!
• Putting girls in pageants sends them the wrong message. It teaches them that superficial looks are more important than anything else.
Not true. We stress personality and poise with our girls. As you know, the most beautiful girl doesn’t always win. Not once have our girls said, “I should have won because I’m prettier than the winner.” My grandkids see pageants as a game and understand that their time on stage is just a “snapshot,” so to speak. They’re judged on how they do in that short period in front of the judges.
• Girls don’t learn anything beneficial from pageants.
Again, not true. Our girls have learned a lot about friendship, confidence, and facing new situations. They’ve also learned good sportsmanship. They’ve learned to be good losers and gracious winners.
If you do charity pageants, that’s a great way to teach kids about the importance of helping others.
• You shouldn’t try to make girls look older by applying makeup.
Why not? That’s like saying you shouldn’t try to make your child look like a witch or Harry Potter at Halloween. Our younger girls think of doing a pageant as playing dress-up. And what little girls don’t play dress-up?
• Pageants make girls feel bad about themselves.
This depends largely on the attitude of the parents. If the pageant mom stresses that pageants are only about winning, then yes, the child will feel bad when she loses. Parents should have kids thinking that pageants are a fun way to spend time with Mom and to work together as a team.
Actually, pageants make my granddaughters feel good. They think they’re princesses when they’re all dressed up!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tips for Riding in a Parade
If your daughter has won a beauty pageant, she might very well be invited to ride in a parade. Some larger pageant systems have their own floats on which all the queens ride. Lots of other pageants don’t have their own float, so for these, you’ll probably have to ride in a convertible. Some pageant directors are good about providing convertibles, but others might not have access to convertibles. In that case, of course, you’ll have to find your own car.
Finding a convertible to ride in might not be an easy task. It’s a lot easier if you have a friend or family member with one. If you don’t, and if the pageant director can’t help you find one, ask around at local car dealerships. They might be willing to loan you a used convertible for the parade. Another option is to rent a car for the day of the parade.
If you have a toddler or young child scheduled to ride in the event, she’ll need some supervision, obviously. If it’s a float she’s riding on, you’ll probably want to be up there with her to keep her from falling or jumping off. But how would it look for you to be up there with the queens? A better idea is to have the miss queen be in charge of the child. This is how we’ve handled the situation, and it always worked out well.
If the child is riding in a convertible, place her on the trunk, with her legs hanging down in the back seat. You or another adult should sit in the back and hold her legs. That way, there’s no way she’s going anywhere! Remember that parades travel at a snail’s pace, so there’s really very little danger involved.
What to wear? Your pageant director will provide you with some guidelines. Some pageants want all the queens dressed in their pageant dresses, some want all the girls to be wearing the same color dresses, and some require special apparel like long gloves. Make sure you know before you go!
Watch the weather closely, too. If there’s a chance of rain, you might not want your new $2,000 glitz pageant dress exposed to water. If pageant dresses are required for the ride and rain is a possibility, wear a cheap pageant dress.
What if it’s cold? Pageant dresses aren’t made for cold weather. Most are either sleeveless or have short sleeves. If it’s cold outside the day of the parade, supply your daughter with a white faux-fur cape. This is very elegant looking, and it will keep her warm!
If you’re dealing with a younger girl, don’t go all out with her hair. Just have it neat, attractive, and SPRAYED!
Finding a convertible to ride in might not be an easy task. It’s a lot easier if you have a friend or family member with one. If you don’t, and if the pageant director can’t help you find one, ask around at local car dealerships. They might be willing to loan you a used convertible for the parade. Another option is to rent a car for the day of the parade.
If you have a toddler or young child scheduled to ride in the event, she’ll need some supervision, obviously. If it’s a float she’s riding on, you’ll probably want to be up there with her to keep her from falling or jumping off. But how would it look for you to be up there with the queens? A better idea is to have the miss queen be in charge of the child. This is how we’ve handled the situation, and it always worked out well.
If the child is riding in a convertible, place her on the trunk, with her legs hanging down in the back seat. You or another adult should sit in the back and hold her legs. That way, there’s no way she’s going anywhere! Remember that parades travel at a snail’s pace, so there’s really very little danger involved.
What to wear? Your pageant director will provide you with some guidelines. Some pageants want all the queens dressed in their pageant dresses, some want all the girls to be wearing the same color dresses, and some require special apparel like long gloves. Make sure you know before you go!
Watch the weather closely, too. If there’s a chance of rain, you might not want your new $2,000 glitz pageant dress exposed to water. If pageant dresses are required for the ride and rain is a possibility, wear a cheap pageant dress.
What if it’s cold? Pageant dresses aren’t made for cold weather. Most are either sleeveless or have short sleeves. If it’s cold outside the day of the parade, supply your daughter with a white faux-fur cape. This is very elegant looking, and it will keep her warm!
If you’re dealing with a younger girl, don’t go all out with her hair. Just have it neat, attractive, and SPRAYED!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Choosing a Pageant Coach
If you’re serious about competing in glitz pageants, you’ll probably need a pageant coach. Pageant coaches can teach your daughter how to walk correctly on stage, how to make eye contact with the judges, how to maintain a beautiful smile, and how to strike poses that will impress the judges. Many pageant coaches will also offer advice on dresses, hair, and/or makeup.
Most glitz pageants include events like casual wear, outfit of choice, swimwear, and/or costume wear. In most cases, a pageant coach can help you choose an outfit or at least give you feedback on outfits you’ve selected. She can also help your daughter learn a routine for these events.
As you can see, the pageant coach is an extremely important part of your pageant strategy. Glitz pageants are very competitive, so winning a big glitz pageant without a pageant coach would be difficult. But how do you choose the right pageant coach?
Anyone can claim to be a pageant coach, so you’ll have to do your homework to find a good one. One of the best ways to check out a pageant coach is to talk with her current or former students. Ask them if the coach is effective, if she’s reliable, and if her students win consistently. If your child is small, you might also want to find out how she works with younger girls. If you have a little girl who’s temperamental or shy and doesn’t respond to a pageant coach, you might want to find another teacher. She might be the most knowledgeable coach in the world, but if your child won’t work with her, you’re probably wasting your time and money.
If you don’t personally know any of the students of your potential pageant coach, find out where her girls will be competing. Attend the pageant and watch her students perform. How did they do? Were you impressed? Even more important, were the judges impressed?
Most glitz pageants include events like casual wear, outfit of choice, swimwear, and/or costume wear. In most cases, a pageant coach can help you choose an outfit or at least give you feedback on outfits you’ve selected. She can also help your daughter learn a routine for these events.
As you can see, the pageant coach is an extremely important part of your pageant strategy. Glitz pageants are very competitive, so winning a big glitz pageant without a pageant coach would be difficult. But how do you choose the right pageant coach?
Anyone can claim to be a pageant coach, so you’ll have to do your homework to find a good one. One of the best ways to check out a pageant coach is to talk with her current or former students. Ask them if the coach is effective, if she’s reliable, and if her students win consistently. If your child is small, you might also want to find out how she works with younger girls. If you have a little girl who’s temperamental or shy and doesn’t respond to a pageant coach, you might want to find another teacher. She might be the most knowledgeable coach in the world, but if your child won’t work with her, you’re probably wasting your time and money.
If you don’t personally know any of the students of your potential pageant coach, find out where her girls will be competing. Attend the pageant and watch her students perform. How did they do? Were you impressed? Even more important, were the judges impressed?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Travel with Kids
If you really “get into” pageants, you’ll find that you run out of local pageant pretty quickly. If you and your daughter are enjoying pageantry, you’ll want to compete in out-of-town pageants sooner or later. Oftentimes lots of glitz pageants can be found near enough to your town for car travel to be in order. Of course, this means travel with kids – or at least with one kid.
Travelling with kids in tow can be challenging, at best. Because most kids are naturally active, tying them down in one spot for hours via a seatbelt isn’t usually their idea of fun. They get bored and restless, and when they’re unhappy, you’re unhappy. You’ll be bombarded constantly with “are we there yets” and “how many more miles?” Have a strategy beforehand for dealing with this!
Kids travel games
Kids travel games can make a big difference in how pleasant your trip is. You can find a variety of kids travel games online and in some toy stores. Be careful not to use games that require the child’s attention to be focused only within the car. This can cause motion sickness, which you definitely want to avoid. Books are something else that you don’t want. Reading and motion sickness are best pals.
One old favorite is the Car Tag Game. On your computer, make a list of all fifty states, with a line beside each state on which the child can place a check. When she spots a car with a license plate from a state, she can check it off her list.
You can make the game a little more challenging for older kids, too. Instead of just supplying a list of states, you can make it more complicated by asking questions like, “Which is the Peach State?” or “Which state is First in Flight?” The answers can be found on the license plates!
Not only is this game free and educational, it serves another purpose, as well. It draws the child’s attention outside the vehicle, helping to prevent motion sickness. You can create the same type of game with animals, too. You could include things like a black horse, a brown horse, a black-and-white cow, a goat, a spotted pig, a chicken, etc.
Motion Sickness
If your daughter has had trouble with motion sickness before, there’s a good chance that she’ll get car sick again. There are a number of over-the-counter anti-motion sickness and anti-nausea medications available, usually safe for children over the age of two years.
Many parents don’t like the idea of giving their children drugs – even over-the-counter preparations. If you feel this way, but you need something to prevent nausea and vomited when travelling with kids, consider a product called SeaBands. Sea Bands are “bracelets” worn on the wrists that work through the use of acupressure. They’re inexpensive, safe, and effective. Their effectiveness has been proven by studies at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Sea-Bands come in vivid colors that kids will love, and they work on adults, too. Order Sea Bands below.
To get more tips for travel with kids, just click! You’ll get more ideas for making travelling with children a pleasant experience, including prevention for motion sickness.
Travelling with kids in tow can be challenging, at best. Because most kids are naturally active, tying them down in one spot for hours via a seatbelt isn’t usually their idea of fun. They get bored and restless, and when they’re unhappy, you’re unhappy. You’ll be bombarded constantly with “are we there yets” and “how many more miles?” Have a strategy beforehand for dealing with this!
Kids travel games
Kids travel games can make a big difference in how pleasant your trip is. You can find a variety of kids travel games online and in some toy stores. Be careful not to use games that require the child’s attention to be focused only within the car. This can cause motion sickness, which you definitely want to avoid. Books are something else that you don’t want. Reading and motion sickness are best pals.
One old favorite is the Car Tag Game. On your computer, make a list of all fifty states, with a line beside each state on which the child can place a check. When she spots a car with a license plate from a state, she can check it off her list.
You can make the game a little more challenging for older kids, too. Instead of just supplying a list of states, you can make it more complicated by asking questions like, “Which is the Peach State?” or “Which state is First in Flight?” The answers can be found on the license plates!
Not only is this game free and educational, it serves another purpose, as well. It draws the child’s attention outside the vehicle, helping to prevent motion sickness. You can create the same type of game with animals, too. You could include things like a black horse, a brown horse, a black-and-white cow, a goat, a spotted pig, a chicken, etc.
Motion Sickness
If your daughter has had trouble with motion sickness before, there’s a good chance that she’ll get car sick again. There are a number of over-the-counter anti-motion sickness and anti-nausea medications available, usually safe for children over the age of two years.
Many parents don’t like the idea of giving their children drugs – even over-the-counter preparations. If you feel this way, but you need something to prevent nausea and vomited when travelling with kids, consider a product called SeaBands. Sea Bands are “bracelets” worn on the wrists that work through the use of acupressure. They’re inexpensive, safe, and effective. Their effectiveness has been proven by studies at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Sea-Bands come in vivid colors that kids will love, and they work on adults, too. Order Sea Bands below.
To get more tips for travel with kids, just click! You’ll get more ideas for making travelling with children a pleasant experience, including prevention for motion sickness.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Pageant Directors: Host a Pageant Party!
As you know from my other blog posts, I have several grandkids, a niece, and a nephew who are or have been pageant queens or kings. They've been involved with a few beauty pageants that involved appearances and get-togethers. Some of these were for the winners only, while a couple of others had parties for all the contestants before the actual pageant - like the day or the weekend before.
I think this is a great idea! It encourages camaraderie among the contestants and among the parents. It gives the contestants a chance to get to know the director, and the director to get to know her contestants or her kings/queens. It also makes everyone feel more at ease, and in the case of a pre-pageant get-together for everyone, the contestants won't be nearly as nervous on stage. This is especially true with younger kids who might be entering their first child pageant or toddler pageant.
This doesn't have to be a fancy affair. In fact, laid back and casual is better! A cookout is a great idea. Find some great BBQ cooking recipes, and have an outdoor event. If the weather isn't suitable for cooking and dining outdoors, have a sit-down meal with some tasty Southern food. If you don't want to do all the work yourself, have each contestant's parent bring a dish for a pot luck supper.
Southern food is, well, uniquely "Southern," just like the glitz pageants phenomenon is. Sure, the rest of the nation might have a few glitz pageants here and there, but it's not ingrained into the culture the way it is in the South.
Believe me, when pageant directors "go the extra mile" for their contestants, the contestants and parents appreciate it and remember it. They'll be much more likely to enter one of your pageants again, and they'll be certain to spread the word, too!
I think this is a great idea! It encourages camaraderie among the contestants and among the parents. It gives the contestants a chance to get to know the director, and the director to get to know her contestants or her kings/queens. It also makes everyone feel more at ease, and in the case of a pre-pageant get-together for everyone, the contestants won't be nearly as nervous on stage. This is especially true with younger kids who might be entering their first child pageant or toddler pageant.
This doesn't have to be a fancy affair. In fact, laid back and casual is better! A cookout is a great idea. Find some great BBQ cooking recipes, and have an outdoor event. If the weather isn't suitable for cooking and dining outdoors, have a sit-down meal with some tasty Southern food. If you don't want to do all the work yourself, have each contestant's parent bring a dish for a pot luck supper.
Southern food is, well, uniquely "Southern," just like the glitz pageants phenomenon is. Sure, the rest of the nation might have a few glitz pageants here and there, but it's not ingrained into the culture the way it is in the South.
Believe me, when pageant directors "go the extra mile" for their contestants, the contestants and parents appreciate it and remember it. They'll be much more likely to enter one of your pageants again, and they'll be certain to spread the word, too!
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